“Kid, you’ll move mountains! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way!”
You are four! Welcome to another year of ‘I know you just got down to put up this many fingers and tell people how old you are, but we’re changing it, again.’ I can not believe that as I write this, I am two hours away from you sitting at college and you are somewhere back home doing whatever it is Pre-K kids do a little after half past nine in the morning.
You’ve started school and that in itself is a hard pill to swallow. I am so so so excited for you. I loved learning. I hope you do too. Yet, I am also scared for you. I know that school can be a tough place to be. There will be days you are tired and where you want to give up. Kids can be mean and you’ve entered a world where they start getting really really mean. I pray each morning over you, in hopes that even with every person who sucks (and there will be a lot of them) you will be surrounded by even more who love you and support you. I pray that there will always be more people there to remind you that when you can’t find the good in the world to be that good.
I want to ask you to never apologize for being yourself. As your big sister, I make it my mission to always stress that to you. As I tell you often, you are fabulous, smart, hilarious, capable, and enough. You are a sassy fiery mess of compassion and passion. That’s hard for many people to deal with- I would know. The thing is, though, little girls like you grow into the best kinds of women. Strong independent women may never be well received, become one anyways. If anyone makes you feel like you should change, or simmer down, or apologize for who you are leave them.
If there were a way to promise you no bad days and make it true I would, even if that meant taking on your bad days as my own. Unfortunately, there is not. May I tell you instead to keep your chin up. I’ve learned that you should not hold on to negativity. In my nearly nineteen years, the sun has come again each morning. I am under the impression it will more than likely do the same for you. Gammy always told me what her dad always told her and I’ll always tell you, “You come from tough stuff.”
A big and marvelous God created you. You may not have been in the plans for any of us, but you were in His. He knew I needed you. I needed you to make me laugh on hard days. I needed you to be someone who is the reason I will never give up, because I refuse to let you down. He knew I needed you because you give the best hugs. He knew I needed you to teach me patience, unconditional love, and forgiveness. It wasn’t just me who needed you either, our entire family did. We didn’t know it, but we weren’t complete till we had you. The world needs you too. As you grow older, I hope that God makes himself so evident in your life and that exactly what your path is becomes clear to you.
Your bossy sass and unfiltered truth keep me on my toes. From sno cone dates and bicycle rides to Sonic runs and playground time, the moments with you are some of my favorite. You make life fun. You are my acceptable excuse to watch silly animated movies and slide down the slides still. Though you are only four, you are one of my best friends.
And as my best friend and my baby sister, there are some things that I would like to promise you. I will always stand up for you and be in your corner. I will be there to fight for you even in the moments I’m fighting with you. Yet, I will also always be there to call you out when you’re doing something wrong and I will keep you accountable. No one will believe in you more than I do. No one will support you more than I do. If your goal is to be a mermaid astronaut who writes for a sports blog, I will be your cheerleader. When you’re hurting I will be your safety. When you’re scared, I will be your bravery. I will be the one who knows all your stories. I will be the keeper of all your secrets.
It’s you, me, and Charles, Baby Sis. Here’s to another 365 days of adventure.
To the moon and back,