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Sense of Wonder

Not okay

Do you have those days where things happen that are complete gut checks? I’m talking when something seemingly random happens and you know it was the universe putting you back in your place? Well, it happened to me a few days ago.

It’s college tour season. Spring has brought warmer weather, pretty flowers, flowing dresses, and people galore. High school seniors and juniors are on campus on the regular. Tour guides lead them walking backwards and rattling off facts to sway these kids to come here. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not where I got my gut check. Younger kids can be found here as well. Area middle schools bring them to show them why they need to work hard, so one day they can come to a place like this.

I was leaving work one day on my way to Spanish class. The majority of my attention as on a sticky note- last minute studying for a grammar quiz.I had to pause to let a small cartel of midgets, *ahem* children, and their frazzled looking teacher go by. I noticed one girl significantly behind the others, her head was in the air swinging back and forth absorbed in the environment. She had no concern to the fact she was getting left behind.

Now she had my attention and I waited for her to pass by as I stood by one of our light poles, they have a banner that has “OU” proudly gleaming. The girl was taking a million pictures of the squirrels, the flowers, the buildings, she stopped a few feet from me to take a picture of the light pole- I will admit it’s a really pretty photo op (I took one of my senior pictures with one). I heard her mutter to herself, “My dad is going to love this.”

Suddenly, I realized she was me. My whole OU story involves a little girl in love with a school that all started because my dad was a University of Oklahoma football fanatic. Blinking back tears, I cleared my throat and asked, “Would you like me to take your picture with it?” I’ve never seen someone shake their head so vigorously. So, I snapped that photo for and a few more.

“It’s so cool.” She told me smiling broadly.

I nodded my head. “It just gets cooler.” She wandered off on the rest of her tour and I was left to deal with what I had just been presented.

I’m nineteen. I’m a student at the university. I’m drowning in homework and extracurriculars. I’m stressed out. I don’t really remember what a normal sleeping and eating schedule are. Most the time I’m worried about making it through to next semester and what I’m going to do in the next step of life. I cry a lot and wonder if it’s worth it.

I did it because of that little girl. I’m here to prove that little girls with dreams can do it. I needed reminding of why I was here.

I had lost the sense of wonder. Trees were just trees. The buildings weren’t all that grand anymore. This was just another university.

Sometimes we must get rid of the dust that has coated our eyes. We must hold on to the childlike wonder that inspired us to be who we are today. I fear what I would become if I didn’t.

Don’t lose your wonder. Don’t forget why you’re here.

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